How To Be A Good Mommy

I was asked to "say something" for my friend's baby shower.  This is what I eventually came up with, edited slightly to reflect it being a blog post.

It is difficult to find original words of parenting advice and encouragement given the vast array of material and personal stories available to moms today. So as I struggled to find something to say this is what came to mind. I call it “How to Be a Good Mommy,” and I’ll start with this three part disclaimer: I don’t know all the answers, I don’t have it all together, and sometimes I feel like a bad mommy.

The truth is most of us at some point feel like a bad mommy. When we’re tired; when we’re grouchy; when we fail to meet the vision of the ideal mother we have in our heads; when we compare ourselves to other moms and measure our kids by their kids. So it’s helpful, I think, to remember that being a good mommy, while not always easy, may be relatively simple. It is in the love, care, and regard we give our children.

Love: The Bible says love covers a multitude of sins (I Peter 4:8); I would say it covers a multitude of mommy oopsies. Your child will not remember the time you slept through her crying, or the first time you lost your temper with her, and probably not each and every time you said you loved her or showed her that love. But each act of love, each word of love spoken, builds an environment that allows her to thrive and grow, to trust you and believe in herself. We will all make mistakes but love can heal.

Care: A lot goes into that little word. Care is meeting needs, making sacrifices, doing what is best for your child even when it’s not what they want to do, and even if it’s not what you want to do. Care is the nuts and bolts of everyday life. Physical care, emotional care, and spiritual care. It helps your child grow and develop and reach their full potential.

Regard: Our society has proven that having a child does not make you a parent. Regard is understanding the responsibility you have for your child. It is thought through. It is choice. It is recognizing the trust God has given you to raise this decidedly individual life. It is begun even before the baby is born. Making sure you have the resources to provide for the child, reading to learn how to care for the child, listening to the advice of experienced friends and family and taking said advice with a large grain of salt.

I must admit these are some rather random thoughts that I gathered together as I tried to come up with something to say. As I tried to group my ideas into an organized progression, the groupings reminded me of this: Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength (Mark 12:30). God asks us to give Him everything we are. Because being a parent is part of His plan for us, He asks for no less in what we give our children. But the key to being a good mommy is to know that God will provide strength for what he asks. Peace in the middle of chaos, grace to ask for forgiveness, wisdom we do not have, patience in the face of the challenges of growing. Friends to listen, support, advise, and pray. His presence always.