For our church baby showers we like to have someone share a word on parenting from a spiritual perspective. Last time I was asked to share for a friend of mine. This time I had something on my mind and volunteered. Since I posted the last one, it seemed appropriate to post this one as well. Thank you lovely lady friends from church for letting me share the thoughts on the repetitious nature of parenthood that have filled my life lately. (A note to those who heard this, I accidentally left out a line but it has been added back in here).
A thousand times we’ve cleaned up messes – dirty diapers, toys on the floor, stained clothes.
A thousand times we’ve been up at night – crying babies, childhood nightmares, sicknesses, waiting for the teens to come home.
A thousand times we’ve said no – don’t do that, don’t go there, it’s not the best for you, trust me.
A thousand times we’ve explained what it is or how to do it, waiting for them to learn because we are ready before they are.
A thousand times we’ve answered questions - who, what, when, where, how, and oh so many whys; even when the timing is bad, even the same ones over and over.
A thousand times, a thousand ways we’ve cared for our children - bathed them, brushed them, clothed them, fed them, healed them, helped them, taught them.
A thousand times we’ve put aside our things to do for our children - our time, our plans, our dreams, our preferences.
A thousand times we’ve cheered our children on to do their best - congratulated them or consoled them.
A thousand times we’ve realized we cannot be perfect parents and live up to the expectations we have (especially the ones we shouldn’t have).
A thousand times we’ve asked for forgiveness, been honest, and stood for what was right, even when it’s all hard, to set an example.
A thousand times we’ve watched our children walk away from us – in anger, in shame, on short adventures, on long adventures, to where we cannot go.
A thousand times we’ve given hugs, kisses, snuggles, cuddles, gifts, and I love yous – and gotten them in return.
A thousand times we’ve prayed for our children - for peace, for safety, for help, for wisdom, for salvation; and also prayed for ourselves.
The repetitions of parenthood can be monotonous, frustrating, joyful, loving, and full of grace. To be honest, this idea developed from the not so good side of things. With my girls being 5 and 2 I’ve been rather frustrated lately with saying the same things over, and over, and over.
But that is what led to remembering the good things. And it is what led to remembering God as our Father. For everything I find repetitive He’s been there before me: He’s had every kind of child imaginable, faced every kind of challenge imaginable. It doesn’t take much looking to find examples of what God deals with from the Old Testament to the New Testament.
Nehemiah recounts some of the behaviors of the ancient Israelites saying, “But they, our forefathers, became arrogant and stiff-necked, and did not obey your commands. They refused to listen and failed to remember the miracles you performed among them. They became stiff-necked and in their rebellion appointed a leader in order to return to their slavery.” (9:16-17a, NIV) Further on, in Matthew, Jesus exclaims (in frustration perhaps?), “O unbelieving and perverse generation…how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you?” (17:17, NIV) But returning to Nehemiah and taking a peek at Jeremiah 31:3 we see what God does in repetition.
Nehemiah 9:17b, “But you are a forgiving God, gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love. Therefore you did not desert them.” (NIV)
Jeremiah 31:3, “The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: ‘I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness.” (NIV)
I have been thinking on this since before the planning for this shower, and I cannot say I’ve resolved my frustration at the place of repetition I’m in. It is more what is keeping my perspective from becoming too skewed.
