Still Small Town

Growing up in a small town in Kansas driving was quite different than here in the suburbs of Minneapolis.  In KS cities and towns were separated by decent amounts of space clearly showing where one ended and the next began.  Here in MN I cross a nearby street and am in a different city, but only know it because a sign says so - and there isn't a sign for every small street.  Going to church I take a highway through three cities in the space of 20 minutes.  In KS distance could be measured in times and it would be fairly accurate every time.  If I ever saw heavy traffic it was only around the bigger cities.  And driving to Wal-Mart meant taking back roads, not interstates.

The other day here in MN, I wanted to go to Wal-Mart.  My "local" Wal-Mart had been out of some things I wanted the past couple of times I went.  So I decided to try a different one.  The directions on the Google map were easy enough and the estimated time was 14 minutes.  So I loaded up my two girls - three years old and two months old - and headed off thinking I could be back in about 45 minutes.  The first step was to pick up the nearest interstate going west...away from the Twin Cities...on a Friday afternoon...at 4 o'clock.  I knew it was a bad idea as soon as I reached the on ramp.  14 minutes down the road found me at a standstill looking in the rear window of the car in front of me, still a few miles from my destination. 

While I had still been able to move, I had considered a different route.  I took too long deciding, though, and from a standstill it was impossible to safely get into the swift traffic in the exit lane.  Coming home, towards the Twin Cities, wasn't too bad.  However, my quick and easy trip to Wal-Mart was anything but quick and easy.  Though I did find everything I needed.

Meaning: Light

"In him was life, and that life was the light of men.  The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it."  John 1:4,5
"You are the light of the world.  A city on a hill cannot be hidden."  Matthew 5:14

It is harder for me to trace the why of this theme in my writing than the other two (journey, story).  I'm not aware of a conscious affinity for it in my writing; it just shows up.  Obviously, as in the scriptures above, as well as in many others, it is a common and powerful visual in my faith which I have heard from childhood.  And, of course, it is a staple of fiction separating good from evil.  So perhaps it is just these steady influences that bring it into my writing.

And this concludes the meaning of my blog title; which is, I hope, a glimpse into what makes me who I am.

Meaning: Story

In a music ministry team in college, my friend always opened her testimony saying, "Everyone has a story."  I love that statement and believe that it's true. Stories contain memories, communicate truths, and cross boundaries.  As mentioned in a previous post, I like to know the what and why of things.  I like to know what makes people tick - what has shaped them to be who they are.  This connects to my family in the person of my mother - a natural story teller.  She tells our family's stories.  I will never be as good as she is :)  It is also deeply connected to my faith.  Jesus taught with stories - parables.  And I have heard the Bible described - from Genesis through Revelation - as the complete story of God's love and His redemption of man.  What a story!

Meaning: Journey

Journeying, storytelling, and light are three themes that I have found recurring unintentionally throughout my writing over the years.

I'm not sure why the idea of a journey - travel - appeals to me. Growing up at the edge of a small town I remember daydreaming about where I could go if I followed the road out of town and just kept walking. It is, I think, a sense of wonder; possibility; the unknown waiting to be found. All kinds of things can happen when you go somewhere unknown to you. In fiction it is the possibility that the unknown is limited only by our imagination - where we think of to go is creative and unbounded. In the walk of faith it is caught up in verses like where Jesus says, "I have come that they may have life more abundantly or "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind can conceive what God has prepared for those who love Him." Fantastic! He has a plan and a purpose for us (Jeremiah 29:11; Psalm 139). How exciting! A personalized adventure from the One who knows us better than we know ourselves! Talk about a journey!

Meaning: A Place

What I write tends to fall into two categories: middle grade/young adult fiction and what I call essays (for lack of a better term). The former, I think, stems from being an avid reader since childhood. Though I read a variety of things my preference is for fiction and I gravitate towards young adult fiction. Since that is what I like to read that is what I think of to write. The latter originates in my 10th grade English class. We did a section on giving speeches and our teacher was strict. She counted uhs, ums, and fidgets. I hated it! It made me so nervous my hands shook. But somehow, through learning how to do it well, I discovered I liked giving speeches (Thanks, Mrs. Dreiling!) In college I studied pastoral ministry in which I did sermons. I greatly enjoyed adding the aspect of scriptural application to giving speeches. But in college I also learned that the ministry I was called to wasn't pastoral (sermons I could do, administration not so much) but perhaps writing.

Some of my fiction work I am looking into getting published, but now that I am not in school I have no venue for speech-type essay ideas. And they are often things I would like to share and talk about, but am not sure how to slip them into conversations. So this blog is A Place to put things where people can read and comment if they want. It is A Place for me to share whatever - thoughts, opinions, ideas, flights of fancy. Honestly, I don't even know what to expect, but I hope someone (or several someones) will find it interesting enough to come talk with me :)

The meaning of this blog's title

Quirks. We all have them. This post regards a couple of mine. First, I like titles. Often times my writing ideas come in the form of titles or with titles. I will pick up something solely because of an interesting title. I'm quite bothered if something doesn't match or live up to its title. So my quirk here is that one reason (of many) that I haven't done a blog was that I couldn't think of a good title. But when I felt God leading me to do this last Sunday in church I actually came up with two titles. Since they were somewhat connected - at least to me - I combined them and got what you see up top.

My second quirk here is that I like to know the why and what behind everything(apparently so does my 3 year old - serves me right :) So for anyone who might be interested or curious the next few posts explain what is behind my choice of title. I split it into parts so the post wouldn't be super long.

A Week of Warfare

It's been a rather unusual week. First of all, my 2 month old didn't do what I'd come to expect as far as sleeping goes. So I got less sleep than I had been getting (which wasn't enough in the first place :) My 3 year old had her first nightmare which made for a couple of interesting days. What prompted her dreaming her pillow had turned into a bear is beyond me. Between my husband and I there seemed to be a distance - a lack of communication and mutual respect. Then also, some minor health issues acted up. Overall, it's been a very odd week.

Ephesians 6:12 says we are in a struggle against spiritual forces. As funny as it sounds, last Sunday I felt convicted to be doing a blog. Why God would influence me to do a blog I don't know - it could just be for the discipline of writing; perhaps someone will say something I need to hear; maybe there will be words God can use to speak to someone. I'm not so arrogant as to think this will be anything fantastic, profound, or even interesting. And for all I know, nobody else will even care to read it. None the less, I feel it is something I should do. And this week I have not done it. This week I have felt instead discouraged to even try. To me that is spiritual warfare - preventing or discouraging God's purpose and plan.

Granted, I made choices, sometimes poor ones, to do other things besides write. That is my responsibility. But the spiritual warfare comes in fighting the desire to do something besides what God has asked of me: something easier. Which is what has been the over riding feeling from all the odd things of this week. And sad to say, sometimes I have chosen not to write when I could have. Who knows what opportunity has been missed by my choosing not to do what God has asked? However, I am still determined to see this through; I just hope life will someday achieve a shred of regularity.

So, here goes.

I've discovered social networking isn't for me, but I've often thought I'd enjoy a plain blog: no bells and whistles, with this-that-and the other to keep up with. Just a place to share my thoughts and if I'm lucky, to have some conversations too. But I've always put off starting a blog on the grounds I wouldn't keep up with it. However, the sermon in church yesterday(7/12/09) was - in part - about fulfilling the purpose God has for our lives. And I was convicted that avoiding writing a blog was avoiding the purpose I feel God has for my life - to write. Now, mind you, I'm not saying my writing is good, great, wonderful, profound, or anything like that. But I'm always having ideas and writing partial scribbles on scraps of paper. Without a venue to share it, my writing has been incomplete. It's possible, of course, no one will read this. And likely no one will care what or if I write. Perhaps, too, my first thoughts were correct and I will not keep up with it well. However, it feels like a way to be faithful to God's purpose in my life. So - for better or worse - here goes.